By Sue Silverman
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Extra resources for Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You
I worry about who will change them and who will bathe her. I want to be able to watch her endlessly, never take my eyes off her, although I don't understand this need. She opens her eyes. I smile, my face pressed against the bars of the crib. She gurgles and coos. Do I wonder who you are? Do I wonder if I were ever a baby like you? D D D 28 RED When officials from the Trust Territories are in town, they dine with us at the house: Governors Paul McNutt of the Philippines, Oren Long of Hawaii, Ernest Gruening of Alaska, Luis MunozMarin of Puerto Rico, Phelps Phelps of Samoa, Morris de Castro of the Virgin Islands.
D D D In fourth grade a new teacher comes to the school, an Englishman, Mr. Gerrard. Since St. Thomas was owned by Denmark before being bought by the United States, there are no British accents, and we are not tolerant of his differentness. Besides, his body smells sour, and he is, in the opinion of my class, quite homely. We tease him mercilessly. We disrupt class. We hold our noses when he walks by. We laugh at him. We ignore his authority as a teacher. Surely it is upon this man, this lonely stranger, that I act out the rage my family deserves.
I do, and after I finish he helps me to the far end of the veranda, where I sit at a table to rest. Two older boys come and sit across from me. " I recognize something familiar in their eyes and I know I am not supposed to answer. "Nigger lover," they say. I collapse the paper cup in my fist and stare at it. They laugh at me and say: "Nigger lover, nigger lover, suck your nigger titty. " Of course I know nothing happened while I fainted. Even without looking I know my jumper is safely snapped.